From Dr. No to No Time to Die PART 3

A Non-Review of 27 films (also a cartoon series and a video game)  by Professor Popinjay

[About the cover photo: Top left: Monty Norman, composer of the theme for Dr. No used in all Bond films since. Top right: Shirley Bassey (Sang Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang). Middle row right: Tom Jones (Sang Thunderball). Center: Johnny Cash (Sang unused version of Thunderball). Middle row right: Morten Harket, lead singer of A-ha (Sang The Living Daylights). Bottom left: Tina Turner (Sang Goldeneye). Bottom middle: Adele (Sang Skyfall). Bottom right: Billie Eilish (Sang No Time to Die)]

What a trek through half the century these were! I loved seeing the evolution of the writing, music, cinematography, and fashion.

Rowan Atkinson was in Never Say Never Again! Mr. Bean! Of course he would eventually do his own Bond parody with Johnny English. I can’t believe he was in an actual Bond film! Granted it wasn’t an Eon film, but it was technically a remake and it had Sean Connery so I think it half counts.

Sean Connery and Rowan Atkinson watching me do a trick with a fountain pen, a slide whistle, and a Pekingese.

Why did Auric Goldfinger enlist the help of all those world crime bosses and then suddenly lose interest in them and un-alive them? That didn’t make sense to me. Or did he just want to be the only one?

Baron Samedi was played by Geoffrey Holder. My parents remembered him saying “Never had it! Never will!” in a Sprite commercial. He came up in conversation after we had seen Batman Forever and they decided the neon skull-faced gang leader in that film was him. False!

Geoffrey Holder as Baron Samedi (Left), Don Wilson as Gang Leader in Batman Forever (middle), Don Wilson without neon face paint (right). Can you spot the difference?

I loved Wayne Newton saying “Bless your heart!” all the time in License to Kill, even when someone had a gun pointed at him.

Those ambiguously/not-so-ambiguously gay guys in Diamonds Are Forever being all catty and jealous with each other was hilarious. They had great chemistry.

I can’t believe how often sharks were used throughout these films. Five different Bond films feature death by Shark! Every Bond villain needed a shark tank it seemed.

I loved when Jimmy Dean (Yes, the sausage guy) as Willard Whyte, after his lackey tries to kill him and Bond shoots the lackey, tells Bond to tell the lackey he’s fired! Bond just gives Jimmy this look like, “Dude, he’s dead. I think he got the memo. Stick to selling sausage.”

Jimmy Dean, the most terrifying Bond villain yet.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service featured an actual avalanche! It was a controlled explosion that they do annually for safety reasons in Switzerland but they incorporated it into the film! So rad!

I went to see Spectre with my buddy Mike and didn’t find it particularly memorable. I might have to see it again sometime because I was likely very distracted. My wife and I were separated and life was crazy. I appreciated going to see a movie with a friend though. That hadn’t happened for years.

Finally we come to No Time to Die, the fifth and apparently final Daniel Craig Bond film. I was thoroughly divorced and dating again. I never would have suggested any Bond film as a date movie. Girls aren’t into those are they? But the woman I was dating suggested it! Considering all my PTSD and weird crap I went through with my first wife, this blew my mind! I would marry this woman the following year. Was it because she was enthusiastic about James Bond films? Eh, no. But it definitely earned her some points. She has yet to squeeze me to death with her thighs but she works out everyday so here’s hoping!

Death! … by snusnu!

Look for PART 4 of 4! Final Favorites!